Silence. Yes, that's what this blog has heard from me in the last week. The sound of failure is the sound of silence. I keep falling and cheating. I have been really low on willpower. I am supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow (rescheduled from Monday) and I'm sure that if I have lost ANYTHING, it's maybe 1 or 2 lbs since before I left for Disney. I'm struggling with the fact that all social gatherings revolve around food, that I am sick of not being albe to just eat when I feel like eating, sick of not being allowed real food, frustrated that I can't enjoy the 3 bottles of wine that I brought back from FAWF... and that has all kind of built up and made me rebellious and defiant about the diet. Not good. So... what am I going to do about it?
I'm going to ask the doctor to switch me to modified fast tomorrow. It's going to be more challenging in some ways, the weight loss will be slower but I think it's the only way I am going to be able to have real food every day and not beat myself up for it.
I also start therapy on Friday. I've got to start dealing with my mental issues surrounding food, weight, etc.
I hope those changes, combined with a surge of will power (which I will muster up!!!) that I should be able to be more successful.
Ta ta for now... I'll post after my weigh-in tomorrow morning.
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