Friday, November 13, 2009

I'm baaaack

Sorry I've been MIA guys... been a crazy week and a half! Last Wednesday, while I was in my doctor's appointment, discussing the switch to the modified fast, my sister Jaimie was having her 38 week doctor's appointment with her OB. Turns out her blood pressure had sky rocketed over the week after her last appointment and she had preeclampsia. She was transferred over to the birth center at Rex for testing and observation but less than two hours later, they had decided to induce labor. The rest of my Wednesday and also Thursday were spent at the hospital waiting for the arrival of Miss Allison Charlotte Francis. They ended up having to take the baby by c-section at 8:30 on November 5. She weighed 5 lbs and 14 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Jaimie suffered some complications post delivery and had to stay in the hospital a little longer than normal but was released on Monday evening. Ever since Wednesday, I've been only back and forth between the hospital, work, home, Jaimie's house. I've been eating whatever, whenever; no concern about calories or anything. And I'll be honest, it has been mostly fast food.

Now that things are slowing down some, I am going to get some grocery shopping done tomorrow and prepare to start the "modified fast" on Monday. Basically, it's 2 shakes (or 1 shake and 1 food supplement), 3 cups of vegetables, and 6-7 oz of protein. There is a whole list of approved proteins and vegetables. Also, there is this soup recipe that I can make and I can have as much of it whenever I want so that should help some with the cravings.

So that's where I've been and I should be posting more regularly from now on...


Hope all is well!

Cheers!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Sound of Silence

Silence. Yes, that's what this blog has heard from me in the last week. The sound of failure is the sound of silence. I keep falling and cheating. I have been really low on willpower. I am supposed to go to the doctor tomorrow (rescheduled from Monday) and I'm sure that if I have lost ANYTHING, it's maybe 1 or 2 lbs since before I left for Disney. I'm struggling with the fact that all social gatherings revolve around food, that I am sick of not being albe to just eat when I feel like eating, sick of not being allowed real food, frustrated that I can't enjoy the 3 bottles of wine that I brought back from FAWF... and that has all kind of built up and made me rebellious and defiant about the diet. Not good. So... what am I going to do about it?

I'm going to ask the doctor to switch me to modified fast tomorrow. It's going to be more challenging in some ways, the weight loss will be slower but I think it's the only way I am going to be able to have real food every day and not beat myself up for it.

I also start therapy on Friday. I've got to start dealing with my mental issues surrounding food, weight, etc.

I hope those changes, combined with a surge of will power (which I will muster up!!!) that I should be able to be more successful.

Ta ta for now... I'll post after my weigh-in tomorrow morning.